Sunday, January 17, 2010
Todays Menu: Discontinued Sauce, Pricey Bagels & Mitten Clips
Menu sighted. Menu picked up. Head moves up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Keep in mind MY MEAL IS CHOSEN already. Steve is still not sure. Should I get the Chilean Sea Bass, Rack of Lamb or Risotto? “Why don’t you have the Risotto honey, it sounds good”, I say patiently. I am at a point where I say I'm patient but I am really not. My temptation is to take the menu and swat him over the head with it but I try, really try to keep quiet. He is still looking. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Or if G-D forbid the menu is by the page like a booklet, he flips. Flip to the front. Flip to the back..... and flips to the front again. By this point the server has already come over to ask if madam and monsieur are ready to order. “Just give us another two minutes please”, says Steve. Another two minutes? To do what? Write the exam? Steve senses my shifting of moods and takes a deep breath to make the final verdict but will not divulge that decision to me until the server appears for a second attempt to take our order. “What can I get for you this evening madam”, she asks. “I’ll have the chicken appetizer with the chicken entrée with a glass of cranberry and soda please”, I answer. “And for you Sir” she asks? “I can’t decide between the fish, the lamb and the Risotto, what would you suggest”? Steve asks. The server seems uncomfortable with the question. Why? Because those three dishes are from three different planets. Fish is for people who want something light. Lamb is for people who want something heavy and Risotto is for ….well….Risotto is for people that couldn’t care less about their cholesterol. After discussing all three menu choices, the server suggests the Lamb. To which Steve answers “why don’t you just surprise me”. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Why would you go to a restaurant and want to be surprised? You have no reason to. That is WHY THEY HAVE A MENU! No surprises!
As I am leaving the store I reach into my pocket to pull out my mittens. No mittens. I have this feeling that pair number three are gone. Missing Mittens. I go through this on a yearly seasonal basis. I get into my car and turn on the heat. I take my mittens off and place them on my lap ....I then exit my car and my mittens drop off into the parking lot. I am thinking of getting mitten clips like the ones I used to put on the kids jackets when they were little. What I may do this week is post signs throughout the city as well.