Here's the question of the day? What would you have done in this situation? I have polled a few people and their answers have been as follows:
1. Buy a bow and arrow and hope that you were paying attention in Summer camp archery class.
2. Come to a restaurant prepared to wear Air traffic controller ear plugs
3. Pull the fire alarm
4. Wear a t-shirt that says "I'm on the tail end of H1N1 but I don't think I'm contagious anymore"
5. Rent a baby and bring it to the restaurant to have a "banshee screaming" competition
6. Order take-out and take it out
Do what we did....
Step 1: Asked the Manager to kindly request that the so called "parent" of the said "banshee" remove herself from the establishment to calm her child down so that we and the rest of the crowd could eat without listening to the "call of the wild".
Step 2: Once the Manager requests the exit of the said "banshee" gently guide the mother/banshee to the nearest exit safely by pointing her in the right direction ( that's what I did) - I made a thumbs out sign towards the door - okay, maybe not too discreet but I was starting to lose my hearing by then.
Step 3: When the said "mother of the said "banshee" refused to vacate the premises - Steve slooowly pushed his chair out from beneath him and made his way over the offending table to ask if " they would mind taking the "SCREAMING BANSHEE" to the outer edges of the restaurant so that everyone in the place can enjoy their meals".
Steve then calmly once again asked if there was anyway they could take Mr. Screaming Mimi outside for a few minutes? Here's were it got uglier. The father of Banshee Baby stood up along with another LARGE burly looking fellow and basically threatened Steve. You have to know Steve to realize that he handled himself in a very cool and collected way. Not once did he start shouting at these Cretans. You also have to know that NO ONE F's with Steve. He is accustomed to defending himself from his past when he was known to his classmates as MadDog Steven. With a handle like that would you start with him? I wouldn't. So MadDog simply asked these three men that were hovering near him another question. "What are you doing to do now? Fight me"? "Cuz if you do...go ahead..hit me first and when your face comes up from the ground you are going out of here in cuffs" he informed. Just to give you a view from our table (FO, MO and YO) threw a couple of words of wisdom into the mix but basically reminded me of the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" monkeys. They were waiting for the first punch to be thrown before any fancy "Bruce Lee" moves were made.
After the yelling subsided (keep in mind that Steve is still calm, he was not the yeller but the Yellee). Steve simply informed this group that they are Trailer Trash Hillbillies who should keep out of public places and then he sat down because the dumplings were getting cold on the table.
I bet you are wondering what the BANSHEE was doing during this whole episode? HE WASN'T CRYING ANYMORE but as you can see in the photo that was taken by Paparazzi Steve, Banshee Boy was trying to dislocate his mother's head.
Confuscious say " when anger arises, think of the consequences....especially if your Chinese food is getting cold" and the moral of this story is.....when you dine with Banshees you get free fried bananas, a bit of a headache and 10% off the bill.