Sunday, September 5, 2010
Golfing in the rain. True golfers are all-weather. If you are serious about the game the conditions should be ideal no matter what they may be. I am not interested in doing anything in the pouring rain except for getting out of it. Steve had a 1:00 p.m. tee time at a local golf course while FO, MO & YO were booked to play on different courses throughout the City in the late afternoon. With the house empty, I pictured myself having a serene, relaxing afternoon. A little bit of baking. A little bit of laundry. Maybe some writing. I said goodbye to Steve and made my way into the kitchen. YO and MO were in the family room while FO was on his way back from lunch with his buddies to retrieve his golf clubs and car which was parked on the street in front of the house. As YO rose from his usual spot on the couch to go upstairs and change into golf gear he let out a cry......
Oh My G-D!....THE TREE....THE TREE .....THE TREE.....it fell on FO's CAR !!!!!!!!!!!
Ring....Ring....Ring..... he answers.
"Hi Honey what's up", he says.
"Steve, there is an emergency, a LARGE TREE BRANCH has fallen off the tree and has crushed FO's car, you need to come home", I begged.
"That's fine...call the Municipality and file a report", he replied.
"File a report? Are you golfing yet?" I ask.
"Yes, I am just teeing off", he answered.
He's teeing off and I am standing in the street with a tree growing out of the back window of FO's car.
"Okay...have a great game....and I will take care of everything.....oh and thanks so much for all your help..... and sorry for bothering you on the golf course....while it's raining.... when you should really be here", I say cheerfully.
"No problem, speak to you soon sweetheart".....CLICK.
At this point I was starting to draw a crowd. My next door neighbour to my left, my neighbour across the street, my neighbour around the corner, my neighbour from the corner and some random nosey dog walkers all made their way over to do a STOP AND STARE at Ground Zero. MO and YO were also at the scene but they too were in a rush to prepare themselves for a 3 p.m. tee off with our next door neighbour Bob.
And where was FO? He was still out to LUNCH.....literally. He had no idea that he was about to see a tree growing from within his vehicle when he rounded the corner on his way home.
What they sent me was this......two Parks Department guys ..... Laurel and Hardy.
They drove up in their nice shiney truck and stepped out to survey the damage. They then determined that there was a large tree branch that had fallen on FO's car. (what was their first clue?)
What that meant was this.....it was Sunday....there was no one else available so they pulled Laurel and Hardy (L & H) out of a local park where they were probably cutting grass with scissors to come to my rescue . Did they come with heavy equipment to move the tree branch? NO. Did they have the proper chainsaw to cut the tree into small pieces? NO. Did they have any idea what their plan of action would be? NO. Did they come with gloves so that they wouldn't chip their manicures on the sharp branches? YES.
What I can do is tell you about the useful neighbours we have. Let's start with the guy across the street. If there was a personal ad for him it would go something like this:
Then there's the guy around the corner who is an ex-arborist ( tree specialist). He is a firewood collector. I believe his greatest assest is excess WOOD.
WANTED - Quiet neighbourhood to sneak around in all day with my truck. Will take the things that you think are garbage and make them mine. Tree trunks preferred.
So there was me, Laurel, Hardy, David and Bart. These were the key players on the rescue team. Bart (the ex-arborist) ran to his home to retrieve his chain-saw and rope while David ran to his house to get his chain-saw and his wheel barrel.
Which brings me to ask this question...... Do I feel safe in my neighbourhood? Hell yes. I have two neighbours who own chainsaws and wheelbarrels. Why wouldn't I feel protected? If a tree falls on Breckonwood and your husband is golfing it's important to know random men with sharp tools.