Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Witches of Quogue Return - PART TWO - Shop til ya drop

Retail Therapy (Definition) - shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. Often seen in people during periods of depression or transition, it is normally a short-lived habit. Items purchased during periods of retail therapy are sometimes referred to as a "comfort buy".

As I mentioned in PART ONE - the only item I intended to purchase while in the HAMPTONS was a frying pan. An odd purchase but there is a reason behind it. I have issues with Non-Stick pans. I've never been able to find one that is NON-STICK. Oh sure, it's non-stick when you first peel the T-Fal sticker off and place it on your stove for the initial omelete making practice round but after that everything STICKS. Last year Steve took me to Caynes (the Super Housewares Store). I could stay in Caynes for hours looking at Knicks and touching all the Knacks. Going with Steve it is a whole different shopping experience. Gone are the days that he used to follow me around like a lost puppy - lovingly sniffing my leg and brushing up beside me to see what I was purchasing. Now it goes something like this:

SCENE ONE - Prior to reaching our Shopping Destination

Steve - " Are you going to be long"

Me - "I haven't arrived there yet so I can't give you that information"

Steve - "I am only going to be in the store for 5 minutes and then I'm going to the car to have a nap"

Me - "that sounds good to me".

Steve - "Don't be too long, I have things to do".

Me - "Like what"?

Steve - "Like oiling my motorcyle engine"

Me - "I will hurry....I wouldn't want you to be delayed in oiling your engines"


I am still inside the store


Steve is in the car sleeping with the radio on


I reach the car and wake Steve by banging on the window


Steve shakes the sleep out of his head, puts the key in the ignition and the car won't start.
Why? Because the battery died while he was sleeping in the car with the radio on.


Roadside Assistance is alerted to our location


Steve blames me for the car not starting because I took too long in the store.


When Steve suggested we go to Caynes together is was a complete surprise to me. I am usually the one to go there by myself to RELAX and enjoy looking at items I don't need and will not fit on my countertop. There was a method to Steve's madness this time around. He WANTED to be patient. He WANTED me to chose things I liked.  He wanted to not have to THINK about a present and this was an easy way to get me an anniversary gift WITHOUT having to wrap it.

This is what transpires after years of buying gifts for your SOULmate:

YEAR ONE = Small jewellery items because in new relationships the male counterpart is unsure if he should invest BIG

YEAR TWO to FIVE = larger jewellery items because he was sure if he didn't invest BIG I would have found someone who will

YEAR FIVE to SEVEN = Jewellery items slowly dissipate in exchange for clothing items and gift cards

YEAR SEVEN to NINE = Replacements for Year One jewellery items that were too small to see without a magnifying glass during the initial investment stage

YEAR NINE to PRESENT = mixing bowls and a non-stick skillet

Romantic eh?

So standing in the non-stick aisle of Caynes we were given a lesson in high end frying pans with ecological benefits. The salesperson (who is also one of the owners) sold us on a medium sized pan that was guaranteed to be THE WORLD'S BEST non-sticker. It was and still is a beauty. $69.99 for a PAN.
We made our first omelet in it - it didn't stick - we made our second omelet in it - it stuck. The PAN now resides in the darkness of the furthest cove in the cupboard amongst all the other imposter non-stickers.

My niece pulled out a yellow non-stick pan when we came to visit her in the Summer. She placed two eggs in it as I watched in awe..... they slipped and slid all over the pan. How much are these pans you ask? $11 at Home Goods. I immediately asked her to take me there where I purchased them in two sizes. Large and Small.

My goal was to get three extra frying pans when I returned for Thanksgiving.

When I arrived at Home Goods I ran to the shelf that housed my "miracle" pans. What I found was this....ONE medium frying pan amongst all the frying pans that I have in my cupboard.  It was REDUCED TO CLEAR.  I wanted THREE but then sales lady in the Home Goods Apron gave me the news....THESE FRYING PANS HAVE BEEN.........DISCONTINUED.

We continued our retail therapy by going to the.....

OUTLETS & TARGET. A place where Mr. G. is very used to and loves. He has helped his mom shop there on many occasions and is more patient than Steve in the Knick Knack aisle. I found a ton of goodies - from lipglosses to sequin tops to leather boots it made up for the lack of non-stick frying pans in the small town of Quogue.

On day two we ventured to South Hampton where the therapy got a bit pricier. Designer boutiques were a far cry from TARGET. As we walked along the streets of this quaint part of town we lost Anita when she ducked into the Michael Kors Store. Let me make this perfectly clear...I had no intention of going in. My philosophy on designer wear is this.......why buy one when I can have twenty for the same price. It seemed that Anita was taking a bit longer than expected so my niece and I took Mr. G. to see what was going on in the Kors store. As we browsed about I came across a purse that caught my eye. Before I took the a look at the price I asked my niece what she thought of it. "Auntie D. it's stunning", she said.

And it was.....
Chocolate brown. Soft. Chains........mmmmm........I was smitten....and the price?
"Affordable Designer Luxury".......but was I going to purchase this item for myself?

Here's the answer.......

no....but I couldn't forget Michael....he was there on a shelf...he was calling my name....
My past record shows that I usually end up with an imitation of what I really want.
For example, my fake Louis Vuitton travel bag which I have lovingly nicknamed...... my Fooey.
Knowing that this was the famous BLACK FRIDAY week I made a decision to leave the purse behind and check back in a few days to see if it was going to be marked down. Black Friday is the Friday following Thanksgiving Day in the United States, traditionally the beginning of the Christmas shopping season - similar to the Canadian Boxing Day. Prices are slashed everywhere EXCEPT as I discovered - at Michael Kors. The price was still the same........still affordable but I didn't want to have my niece drive out of her way to go back to South Hampton. We needed to think practically here. I wanted to buy a belated birthday gift for Mr. G. so I traded Michael Kors for a trip to Toys R Us.
Mr. G. got a Red Wagon, a Rock and Roll Elmo and Auntie D. didn't get a Michael. But I was okay with that. I focused on packing my purchases from the week while my niece and nephew went on a visit to a so-called friend who "just had twins". During their absence I played with Mr. G., fed him lunch and called Steve to see how he was doing without me. I was on the phone when my niece and nephew returned from their faux outting. Steve then proceeded to ask to speak to my niece who then proceeded to hand me back the phone. Steve asked me to play "hot and cold" with him as he guided me through the house towards the basement. I am less than thrilled with basements as they have scared me since I was a kid. Nonetheless I played along with him to keep him amused. As I switched on the light to go down to the basement...there at the bottom of the stairs lay a cream colored box in a bag......and the name on the box was......


It seemed that my husband and my niece initiated this secret purchase plot after I told him that I saw my dream bag.

The moral of the story is.......even after the pan schtick my future still holds romance.... and......
I now sit here in the company of Michael (Kors) and Louis (the Fooey). Two men who say nothing but look good. 
Happy life Happy wife.

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