I have taken note that my REAL size is not the size I need to buy at this store. You see my real size is somewhere between a 4 and a 5. Since most stores don't sell 4 and a halfs I can get away with squeezing my butt into 4's if I am lucky. NOT at H & M.
This is when I handed her LIKE all the clothes that LIKE I was holding and LIKE ran out of the store....because I don't LIKE credit notes. NEXT!
I am always comfortable and safe at my usual hangout - WINNERS so that was my next shopping plan for the week. Steve was busy most of the day Sunday ....doing what? Well you see....in the Spring and Summer he rides his two wheeler (Motorcyle). He is obsessed with having the perfect ride so this week he bought himself a couple of new fenders that are bigger than the ones he currently has on the bike. The new fenders were "used" and happen to be ORANGE with bright flames on them. These were unacceptable as is so Steve is having them painted silver and black to match the rest of his bike. Is this story long and boring? Yes...I am getting to the good part...just wait....
In order for Steve to have the fenders painted he needed to PREP them. He spent hours sanding and "futzing" with them until he discovered that he needed to go to my other favorite store - HOME DEPOT for some extra whatchamacallits to go on his bike. As soon as I heard that he needed to GO there my ears perked up. I was sans wheels because FO needed my car to write an exam....yes on a Sunday they write University exams...I know it's stupid but at least he is finally graduating. I needed a ride to WINNERS and Steve was my only hope ...other than the bus. I asked Steve if he would mind dropping me off and then go on his merry way to Home Depot and this is the response I received:
" You have exactly 15 minutes to go to WINNERS...I am not waiting a second more because I have a lot of "shit" to do at home and I am not in the mood to have you waste my time hanging around while you browse slowly around the store". Steve instructed.
hmmmm....15 minutes for an expert WINNERS shopper is not a bad deal IF you are only concentrating on a single article of clothing or shoes. I think I can do it. Maybe. So I agree. But first I have to wait for a load of laundry to finish before we leave so Steve informed me that he will be outside and continue sanding his piece of orange metal with the flames until I was ready. The washing machine stopped...I threw the stuff in the dryer and I ran out to find Steve in the car waiting impatiently and tapping his foot. He was covered in grease and looked like he worked in an autobody joint. "Are you going like that", I asked? "Like what" he answered? "Like that....all greasy and stuff", I said. "Uh, Ya..I am running into Home Depot so I don't need to put a suit and tie on", he said.
1. The missing phone was impeding on my 15 minute shopping spree.
2. How do I HELP Steve find his phone without laughing?
3. Why was Steve constantly dialing his phone from my cellphone? (If you call it a couple of times in the area that you "thought" you misplaced it you might hear it but calling it 16 times will give it wings and make it magically appear?)
As time passed it was evident the the iphone was nowhere in sight. And then.. ..youngest one came home from work. He actually flew past us in the car on one of our scavenger phone hunts.....we were exiting our street and he was entering our street like a racecar driver. When we returned....empty handed.....YO asked "wuz up? He could sense by the look of horror on Steves face that something was wrong. I explained that Steves phone has vanished (for a change). "Oh....that's not good", said YO. He then offered to join the search and rescue team. Once again we scoured through the house, in the garage, on the driveway and yet again came up with nothing but the sound of my phone calling his phone and connecting to his voicemail. YO suggested that he go back in the car and look for it on the road.....particularly after watching Steve running around with his"stressed and terrified" face on.
YO took off down the street and we were just about to follow him when here comes YO honking and waving out of the car window HOLDING the iphone!!
Where was it? At the bottom of the street in the middle of the road. Clearly, Steve and I are both blind and didn't see it when we drove OVER it 4 times ! Luckily the phone was intact. YO was now a hero in my eyes because I could finally go to Winners for 15 minutes. Looking quite relieved Steve got into his car after giving YO a big hug and off we went. Do you think the story ends here? I don't think so.
I looked at Steve and said "well maybe next time you won't be such a NAR and leave your phone on the hood of your car".....
To which he replied "well maybe next time you won't DELAY me by having to do the laundry which in turn forced me to find something to do and then I had to leave the the phone on the hood while waiting for you.....it's all your fault".
um....did he just twist this whole thing around and lay the blame on MOI?
According to my husband, it was because of ME that HE left the phone on the hood of his car while he puttered around outside.
Let's take a POLL here.
Please check off one of the boxes below if you think it was:
- MY FAULT
- HIS FAULT